marți, 26 ianuarie 2021

Judgments and Labels

 


When you label people, you take away their power to impress you.

We are usually judged, by our first appearance, by our first words, and we judge at our turn. Instantly, we apply sticky notes in our mind and from there onward all connection, all real communication is lost. I grew fond of this lady, KK, over several days of seminars, although at the beginning I made the mistake to just apply a post-it with “too young and exuberant” and was tempted to ignore her for the rest of the time. She was a lovely surprise, and I’m glad I listened to her introductions and closings to the end.

It’s very rare to find someone who listens to you, no matter how silly or embarrassing your story is, and doesn’t judge you in a second. We fear other people’s opinion too much and we hide behind polite masks, we conceal our emotions, we stay silent instead of expressing what we really think or feel. Sometimes we lie to ourselves, considering truth would hurt the other one and therefore it should not be told. Sometimes we’re simply ashamed of it. In any case, we basically consider the other one unworthy of our trust, and most of the times it is for good reasons. But if that person really cares, they will be hurt by the label we’ve put on them, and not by the actual facts. Consequently, we will lose the opportunity to have them impressing us with their warmth, their kindness, their love. I’ve been there, both sides. In neither of them we don’t win. It’s a pity we keep doing it, over and over again.

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